Well, I spent yesterday crying again just aching to hold my baby boy one more time. I would give anything to feel him twirling my hair again.
Those things make me sad but something that hurts me more is to see my Chelsie grieve. This week has been especially difficult for her, I do not know exactly what triggers her moments.
She has been so lonely. We were talking the other day and she told me that she is tired of being lonely. I know that it must be so difficult for her to deal with life without her little brother. My heart just breaks for her. I don't have the words to tell her to make it better and it kills me to see her in pain.
She is such an amazing child. I cant imagine going through all of the thing she has in her short life.
There are so many aspects of this process that are so complex.I just don't know how people do this without Christ. I really don't know what I would do if did not have Him.
Yes, i am sad, and having to "do" all of this really stinks. But, God has blessed me with such an amazing group of friends and support.
I have much to be thankful for and each day the Lord gives me something more to be thankful for.
At the same time I have to feel the pain and face this process with God as my guide, and He has not promised that this will be easy, but He has promised that He will be here with me every step.