Saturday, February 21, 2009

Another Year Gone By

It is hard to believe another year has come and gone since my little Hunter died. People ask if it gets easier with time, and my answer has always been the same until this year.I have always said no it does not get easier with time. The pain that we feel for our loss will always be as sad and intense as the day he died.

I can say that until this year my goal in life was to make sure that everyone knew that my baby lived and was tradgically taken from this
earth. This year my grief has taken on a different phase I guess you could call it. I no longer have a desire to make sure everyone knows and remembers Hunter.
All that matters to me is that I was blessed with this beautiful life and had a love for him that no words can describe. I don't care if you remember his birthday or the day he died. There will come a time when I am the only one who remembers and that is okay.
I have learned so much through this experience and through having cancer. We all have things in life that we deal with and I can not go through this life expecting what I also can not provide for others.
It takes entirely too much energy to worry about what others are or are not doing for me, besides, how stinkin selfish is that!
Although I must say there are times when I think a sensetivity filter should be in place. But those times are very few and far between.
So this week I celebrated by baby boy Hunters 8th birthday.
I went to work just like I did on Chelsie bugs birthday. I did really well, in part I think because of the sweet little kids I get to see and love on everyday. I think people expected me to be a mess, but I prayed and prayed about it and why would I be upset on one of the greatest days of my life? I gave birth to my sweet baby boy on Feb. 16th why should I be sad. So I just focused on what a great day that it was and still is to our family.
I will always love him and miss him until the day I die.

I want to take this time to thank everyone who has put up with my crazy ways. And for all the love and prayers for our family.


Tennessee Mama Duck said...

It is amazing how much God has grown you through all that you have been through. I see Jesus in you, Melanie. I hear Him when you speak/write. He is amazing in you! I love you!

Jennifer said...

I truly agree with Richelle. Jason spoke of you and your family in his sermon at church last Sunday. People were very moved by your story. Don't be surprised if some visitors stop by your blog.