Tuesday, October 21, 2008

What next?

Do you ever have those moments when your just kind of floating in between where you are and where it is you would like to be? I feel like I am in limbo of where I am and where God is directing me in life. It is very weird. I feel like I am at a place where I don't really feel great but I don't feel really awful either.
I have been doing much grief work for the last four years especially this year. I have experienced many losses that have really hurt me. And I know that it is all part of the plan God has for my life, but it does not make it any easier.
So I have been spending a lot of time with the Lord and praying more than I have probably prayed in my life. I have really been able to work through so much and have a clearer understanding of myself and others.
I am learning that people hurt each other, sometimes intentionally and most of the time unintentionally. What I am learning is that I am not responsible for anyone else's actions but my own, and beyond that I have no control.
I have really had a difficult time understanding, accepting and working through the losses that I have been through.
I think the weirdness that I have been experiencing is really not limbo it is peace! Peace is something that I think I have really never ever had in my life so I think identifying it is difficult.
Life has been just as crazy and busy as usual between work, church and Chelsie's extracurricular activities which I do five days a week!! But with all of that, peace is what I think I am feeling.
Speaking of my little sissy bug, she is just a few short days from being a teenager !!!
Yikes! This is a whole new world! If there is any time to have a good prayer life , this is definitely it!! She is the most amazing young lady ever, and I am not saying that because she is mine. But she is great fun and happy! I am so very blessed to call her my daughter!
This journey to be continued.....

1 comment:

Rachel said...

I want to hear more about how you feel that your feeling of limbo is actually a feeling of peace. That is intriguing to me.