Thursday, June 4, 2009

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still" Ex:14:14

Here I am again on this roller coaster of life, finding myself once again in another valley. I am two weeks out from Breast Cancer metastasis to the bone, specifically the sternum(breast bone) diagnosis. I am three years from original diagnosis, and was just getting close to not looking over my shoulder for its return.
I guess I somehow knew that this day would come deep down in my soul, but it is never the same when all the pain and fatigue is actually what you have dreaded hearing for the last three years. "I am sorry Melanie, its back."
I have to say that next to the other three words that changed my life, " Hunter is dead "
the cancer being back is the worst thing I could hear.
Somehow I knew it was back, I really believe the Lord prepares your heart for things that He knows are coming your way. As I went through these last several months of chest pain thinking in the back of my mind that this could be the cancer. I always told myself not to go there and be positive, but the pain kept on getting worse and worse I couldn't breathe, cough, laugh, sneeze, etc. without severe pain. So after many co pays, visits, and tests. I finally get an answer to what is wrong with me, Cancer in my breastbone!
I feel like I am numb at this point. I don't feel scared or worried about the cancer. I worry about those around me that have to watch what it does to you, with all the treatments and medicines that I will go through it just sucks.
So what do I do with this new card Ive been dealt? I do what God expects of me and I expect of myself, I give Him the glory that He deserves because I know no matter what this will turn out for the good. We may not see it now, but I know that He will show us in time.
So, what I ask of you now is prayer our family to sustain whatever comes our way in the new journey we have started.